


The Dyad in the Force is Love

by aneighthdomain



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Gentle Kissing, Infertility, Kissing, POV Ben Solo, Pregnancy, Rough Kissing, but still has a HEA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23182861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aneighthdomain/pseuds/aneighthdomain
Summary: Drabbles about the idiot Space Wizards
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 13
Kudos: 36





	1. You're Not Alone - Rey

**Author's Note:**

> So this started out as a kiss drabble post originally, but then I started writing drabbles that didn't necessarily have kisses in them...so now it's just a drabble post. XD Some of the fics have been removed from this post because they are actually too long to be considered a drabble and I felt like they deserved their own posts. So yey~! Also, there was a huge warning here before about this all being unbeta'd, it still is, but I am currently going through and at least trying to clean them up now that it's not 2:30 in the morning when this was originally posted. XD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Luke went to the Falcon instead of the huts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a two parter, the next chapter being its companion. This is during TLJ, if Luke hadn't caught the two of them hand touching. A little TEENY tiny part of this is actually out the book instead of the movie itself. And this is 1000% canon-divergent. Please enjoy~!

-Rey-

  
  


“You’re not alone,” Kylo said, looking down at his clasped hands.

Rey turned her head, looking at the way that in spite of his bulk, he seemed so small. Like he was still that boy that looked up to see his master betraying him.

“Neither are you.”

Kylo looked up at her, and in that moment, she saw Ben Solo in his eyes. She saw the lonely fragile young man who wanted nothing more than to be accepted, to be looked at and noticed. Not to be the prodigy student, or the one with the legendary Skywalker blood who was expected to do great things just like his uncle. To just have someone look at him and notice how small he felt and to be...

...to be loved.

Rey let out a small breath and slowly, turned her palm up, reaching it out next to her. She didn’t know if they would be able to touch. In fact, she mostly expected that they would pass right through each other. But if for just a moment their life forces could mingle in the distance between them, that would be enough, right?

Kylo stared at her hand as if he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with it. Like he’d never seen someone reach out their hand to him before. She was sure they had, but how often had he seen it? Felt like he could accept it? Since he left the Jedi temple?

His eyes never leaving her hand, Kylo’s left hand moved to his right and with slow, but efficient movements he removed his glove. Laying it over his thigh he moved his hand, achingly slow toward hers. When their hands connected, and the first touch of skin was made, there was a spark. It was tiny, just like a static shock, barely even noticeable, but it was profound nonetheless. Their life forces did mingle, there in their hands, even as the touch became a clasp, fingers wrapping around the back of hands, palms pressing firmly together.

Kylo...no Ben looked up at her, his eyes meeting her’s for the first time since she’d reached for him. She could see wonder and reverence in his eyes, not just in the way that he experienced their bond as she did, but in the way he looked at  _ her _ . She could see the way that his eyes drifted over her face, as if taking in the sight of her for the first time. She saw the way his gaze focused on her lips for a breath longer than necessary and then moved back to her eyes.

Rey’s breath became more rapid, and as if they were one mind, so did Ben’s. She felt her heartbeat speed up and beat harder, all echoed by him. She could feel him bleeding into her and vice versa, but it didn’t scare her. It was right. It was right that they should be two energies merging into one. She saw Ben’s eyes go to her lips again, and she felt the urge to do the same.

His lips were parted, his breath coming in soft pants from them. His mouth was generous and instantly, she wanted nothing more than to know what it felt like on her own. Even as she told her body to move in closer, Ben pulled her to him until their sides were flush. Their free hands reached for each other simultaneously, hers going to the side of his face, his going to the back of her neck, his fingers buried in her damp hair. 

Her gasped “Ben!” was swallowed up in his kiss. If the feeling of their hands had been the spark that lit a fire between them, the touch of their lips turned into a conflagration and she was completely consumed by it. Distinctly she thought she knew the same was happening to him. The press of their lips built up a pressure in them and they were forced to decrease, then replace the pressure, over and over again to keep from burning out.

As the kiss continued, it got less refined, had less fineness and their lips parted more and more often between presses movements until almost naturally Ben's tongue moved into her mouth. The long drawn out moan the rolled from her was answered by a deep rumble in his chest that vibrated against hers.

They moved in synchronicity, their hands and mouths parting long enough so he could lean back against the wall and she could throw a leg over his lap before they were on each other again. The passion that flowed between them was a current, ready to spark again, maybe into something they weren’t ready for. With that thought of caution, the passion dimmed a little, but they were no less eager to bring their mouths together repeatedly. 

Soon though they were out of breath and needed to stop. Rey broke the kiss but they gasped at the same time. Rey wrapped her arms around his shoulders even as his arms went around her waist. Ben pushed his face into her chest as he held her and she turned her face to rest her cheek on the top of his head. 

"Ben," she whispered into his hair. "Come home."

He shook his head, his dark hair covering his face as he turned it to the side to speak. "I can't. I don't know how I can after everything I've...I can't do it by myself."

Rey felt him tremble against her, but in her mind she could feel a resolve building, one that would ruin everything. So she squeezed his shoulders in a tight embrace, running the fingers of one hand through her hair. "I'll come get you," she whispered again. "If you want me to."

She'd worded it very carefully. Returning home with her had to be  _ his _ choice. She knew that in the very essence of her being. He'd had too many choices taken from him. She wouldn't take another one for him.

Ben pulled his head away from her and looked up. She pulled away a little too, holding his warm dark gaze with her own hazel one. "You will?" 

Rey nodded, smiling at him. "Of course, if you want me to." she kissed his forehead. 

"...I do." Ben looked up at her. He had the world in his eyes, and if she'd asked it of him, he'd give anything she asked for. Why would anyone ever abandon him, when all he asked for was love? Why would anyone want to kill him? Just for the small corner of darkness in his soul? 

Rey took his face in her hands and very softly kissed his lips. "Wait for me?" 

Ben nodded, the movement bringing his lips in and out of range until he leaned up and shyly kissed her. How could anyone abandon this man? Rey kissed him back one last time then reluctantly pulled herself out of his arms, with him just as reluctant as she had been, but she ran one hand through his hair until he sighed and let her go. With that peaceful look on his face, she was able to start packing her bags. 

Luke saw her coming to the ramp of the falcon in the same moment he was coming down. 

"Rey, I felt him. Are you?" 

Rey paused next to him, but she didn't look into his face. "Did you do it? Did you try to murder him?" 

There was a long pause. "Yes. I was afraid of my nephew. And in the fear I thought to prevent his darkside nature from going into the galaxy. I knew immediately I was wrong and when I looked back at him, he'd already seen what I had intended to do." Luke hung his head. "So yes. I created Kylo Ren.”

Rey clenched her jaw for a moment before she spoke again. “He hadn’t made his decision yet. He still hasn’t. He just needs someone to take his hand. And let him make his own choice.” With that she went up the ramp and prepared for take off.


	2. You're Not Alone - Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Kids never made it up to Snoke's throne room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two, from Ben's perspective. Again 1000% canon-divergent

-Ben-

Kylo Ren had second thoughts since the moment the connection clipped off. He knew in that moment, everything she’d said had been nothing but truth. He’d felt it in his soul. He’d felt  _ her  _ in his soul. She would never lie to him. But now the connection had ended and all he could think was would she really come for him? Could he take that chance? No. He couldn’t. He’d taken that chance before. So many times before, and it’d never worked out in his favor. So he went about as his plan dictated until he was notified that a ship had come out of hyperspace to jettison an escape pod and went into hyperspace again.

His heart leapt into his throat. Did she...?

He made certain not to show his haste in getting to the hanger, but he did lengthen his already long stride. When he arrived it was just as they were preparing to open the pod and he could see her through the viewing port. Her eyes flickered to his and she smiled slightly at him.

He felt the barest of twitches at the corner of his mouth, but it was enough to reassure her apparently because while she’d immediately frowned with her mouth, there was a spark of joy in her eyes. Or was he getting that through their connection to the Force?

They had her in binders and in his custody before long. He refrained from doing more than guiding her by the barest of touches on her elbow right up until they were in the turbolift. With the door closed and no one but them in the ‘lift Rey turned him.

“Ben,” she said, her voice a little breathy.

He cast his eyes toward her, his head turning just a little. Her cheeks were flushed, and her breathing was faster and rougher than he would have expected of her, even if this was a frightening situation for her.

She looked up at him, her eyes becoming hooded. “Take the binders off, Ben.”

He blinked once, twice, wondering why she would think he’d do that, but then he was popping the lock with a thought and catching the binders in his hand as they dropped off her wrists.

“Stop the ‘lift,” she said, and again he wondered why she thought that was something he would do, but then he was reaching for the emergency switch and flipping that with a thought.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, her voice more breath than sound, and he didn’t have time to wonder why she would think he would kiss her because he was already pressing her into the wall of the ‘lift, hands around her face as his mouth plunged for her’s.

Rey wrapped her arms around his waist and even if they had already kissed just hours ago, it didn’t have the same feeling as this. This was so much more real. She was warm and soft. She felt solid and not quite as ethereal. The feel of her mouth was familiar though.  _ That _ he would never forget; the way her mouth moved against his, as if trying to find a rhythm and then moaning when she found it and he couldn’t stop his body’s reaction to her noises. He pressed himself into her so she was pinned between the wall and his body and the pitch of her moan went higher.

“Rey,” he whispered when I couldn’t handle the fire from her lips anymore and had to draw away.

“I’m here,” she whispered, running a hand up his neck and burying her hand in his hair. He shivered at the feel of her fingers there. Ben pushed her harder into the wall at her back and he dug his gloved fingers into the openings in the wall to draw himself closer to her. He heard her utter a soft moan and he echoed it.

“Kiss me again, Ben...”

He was only too happy to oblige. His mouth descended on her and she moaned again when their lips met. Damn, she was so responsive. Every time he touched her, or moved his mouth in a different way, she noticed and she reacted either with a sound of approval or a digging of her fingertips into his clothing. His heart pounded just as it had before when their hands had touched, and his breathing was quick as his lungs tried to get air to him.

When he would have drawn back, she damn near climbed him until her legs were around his waist and her arms around his neck and shoulders. Ben pushed her so firmly into the wall he wasn’t sure she was breathing, but he was hard put to let her go and she had enough breath to moan  _ again _ and he was so engaged with her he could literally barely stand, almost holding himself up as much as standing.

He was so wrapped up in her, that he only distantly registered the call alarm on the control panel of the ‘lift. He had to pull his lips away from hers before he had enough presence of mind to find out what the alarm was for. Oh someone wanted to use the turbolift he was in, currently involved with a woman he was contemplating taking directly to his chambers and claiming.

“Ben?” Rey called, getting his attention.

Ben looked at her.

“Do you still want to go with me?”

Ben blinked a few times as the call alarm continued to go off. Did he still want to go with her? Well that depended. But then he realized it didn’t. No one had ever given him a choice. Not his parents, his uncle, Snoke. They all told him what to do and where to go, and couched it in platitudes about it being his choice. He’d never had one.

But, then Rey asked him first if he wanted her to come find him, and then again to confirm that he still wanted to go with her. It was his choice, no obligations or expectations. It was his choice if he went with her. So yes, he nodded, he was going to go with her and deal with the consequences later, hopefully with her help?

Rey grinned at him. “Then let’s go. Right now.”

Ben nodded again, reveling in how free he felt in agreeing with this. How he felt for the first time in his life, it was  _ his  _ life. He pressed the number for the next floor up from where they were at. Rey had already gotten the binders and was putting them loosely on her wrists and as the door opened on the next floor, Rey stepped out, looking around either side, then back at him. “Just follow me, Ben. I’ll get us home.”

_ Us home. _

Ben couldn’t help the grin that spread across his lips as he took her elbow and followed her directions out and into freedom.


	3. Smile!  You’re On Camera!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Kids meet on the Big Screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a prompt offered by an individual in the Reylo Fic Recs FB group.  
> Please enjoy~!

**Smile! You’re On Camera!**

  
  
  


_ ”Alright sports fans! It’s that time again!” _

Rey’s eyes shot up to the big screen. She always loved the kiss cam. It was so romantic to see couples laugh and blush and kiss each other so sweetly. Even when the cam would fall on non-couples, sometimes they would say no and the camera would move on, or they would laugh and just kiss for the fun of it. She loved that.

The first couple it hit on held up a sign that read “JUST MARRIED!” and they cheered when they saw the camera land on them. They went into a full on snogfest which was almost too much for a public venue, but it was clear they were so in love and Rey smiled anyway.

The next couple were the absolutely sweetest old couple she had ever seen in her life. Their white hair and wizened faces stuck out in the younger faces around them and they smiled indulgently when they saw themselves. The husband turned to his wife and very sweetly leaned in. The wife placed a wrinkled, gentle hand on his cheek and leaned in as well, and they shared the briefest of pecks, but their eyes when they pulled away showed they were just as much in love as the first couple, and it nearly brought tears to Rey’s eyes.

The next couple was a pass and that was fair enough, but the couple after them was strikingly familiar. The woman had the same brown hair pulled back in a braid under the home team’s baseball cap and her hand moved up to her mouth the same time Rey’s did as she realized the camera was turned on her and the man next to her.

She blinked a few times and turned to the man to her right. She honestly hadn’t really looked at him until this moment, having acclimated to America at this point to basically ignore everyone around her when she didn’t need to interact with them. She was struck by the character in his face.

He wasn’t traditionally handsome, his nose a bit long, his brows appearing to be in a perpetual furrow. His lips were thinned out and his forehead wrinkled a bit as his face turned from the big screen to her, but then it smoothed out and he looked so much younger than he had a moment ago. When his lips curled up at the corners, it transformed his face into the most beautiful expression she’d ever seen. She didn’t have the words to describe how beautiful the sly smirk and the twinkling dark eyes made his face, and the black forelock that fell across his forehead all culminated to make him look like the most charming scoundrel she’d ever met. And those generous lips, yes she suddenly absolutely needed to feel them on hers.

He raised an inquiring brow at her and she grinned and nodded once, leaning in to him even as he leaned into her. The press of his lips into hers was soft, and yielding, and earth shattering. She had never felt the world drift away from her in a kiss, never had all the sound recede from her awareness. She’d heard about it, read about it, but experienced it, never. And this was just the first touching of lips. She wasn’t prepared for the pounding of her heart or the hitch of her breath when he tilted his head and moved his lips against hers.

She felt his hand come up to the side of her face, his tongue licking at the seam of her lips and she parted them on a soft gasp at the feel of him. He didn’t delve in as she would have thought, as she’d experienced from so many overly eager kissers before. Just a soft touch of the tip of his tongue to hers and she couldn’t stop the soft moan that he couldn’t have possibly heard, but it was echoed by him. 

It was over all too quickly. He drew away and she was breathless, and she wasn’t sure if the flush she felt was from the embarrassment of having experienced the most profound kiss of her life in front of a bunch of strangers or just the rush of having experienced that profound kiss. All the sounds that had receded from her mind rushed back and they were surrounded by cheers and whooping and applause. Rey ducked her head but she was grinning, casting sideways looks at the man next to her who was doing likewise.

As the kiss cam moved on, the man leaned in and said loud enough for her to hear over the crowd, “My name is Ben.”

She turned and did the same in his ear, taking in the scent of him and the feel of his long wavy hair against her cheek. “I’m Rey.”

He went back to her ear, and his breath on it made her shiver. “Do you want to get a drink after the game?”

She laughed, having completely forgotten about the game until just now. “Do we have to wait?”

His grin was even more beautiful than his smirk. He didn’t bother speaking into her ear this time. Just mouthed “Nope!” and stood, holding his hand out to her.

She grinned back, her cheeks starting to ache, but she didn’t care. She took his hand in hers and let him haul her up and into whatever future was going to come from the random kiss cam.


	4. Ben Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kylo wants to be Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000% canon-divergent

Ben Solo

“It’s been a long time since we’ve been here,” he said. He didn’t mean  _ here _ , the ruins of the first jedi temple on Ahch-To. He hadn’t technically been here.

No, as he approached her, forcing Rey to press her back into the wall that she’d once blasted a hole through, she knew he meant this tension between them. The tension that had existed between them the first time they’d touched through their connection.

When he was only an arms length away, she put a hand out to stop him, her fingers splaying against his chest. She swallowed, trying to clear out the dryness of her mouth. “You were never really here...Kylo Ren,” she prevaricated, telling her fool heart to calm its pounding.

He raised a brow and took another step closer so that her arm had to bend if she wasn’t going to fight him. And she wasn’t going to.

“You used to call me Ben,” he murmured, taking yet another step. “Why change that now?”

He was close enough she could feel the heat of him against her body and his deep voice reverberated around his chest, the vibrations going through her hand. “Things are different,”she whispered, tilting her head so she could look up at him. “You're not really Ben, are you?”

He was so close now, only her hand creating its own width of space between them. He put a hand on either side of her against the wall, one at her ear where she could hear the soft creaking of his glove, and the other at her shoulder.

“No,” he said, again in that low voice, lowering his head to her, his mouth coming close enough they breathed the same air. “But for you, I’ll spend my life trying.”

And then his lips were against her. She wasn’t sure what she had expected. Something hard, fast, brutal? It wasn’t this softness, this hesitancy. Like she was precious, like he wasn’t sure she wasn’ going to push him again. It was the vulnerability as he gently broke the kiss. The way his heart pounded under her hand, the way his lips trembled as he pulled away. The reverence in his eyes when she looked into their depths.

He searched her eyes, even as she searched his and he seemed to be frozen, unable to move forward or back away. So very slowly, the hand at his chest slid up and she smiled softly at the sudden intake of breath. She brought her hand up to cradle the side of his face, her fingers sliding under his jaw. The other hand joined the first on the other side and she tilted his head a little before pulling him down for another, firmer kiss. It seemed to go on forever, just the warm press of their mouths, until instinct made their lips part and move.

His arms moved around her, his large hands spreading across her back and lower spine, drawing her body closer to his warmth and way from the cold stone at her back. One of her hands slid from his jaw to his neck, her fingers brushing through his long, dark hair. The other hand sliding to his shoulder, clutching at it like a lifeline. She meant for the hold to be an anchor, but she was too swept up in him, in his kiss.

Oh how she was swept into that kiss. All the world had fallen away. All the plans she had, all her intentions, all of them forgotten and she just let herself be consumed by him. Those plans would be there later. He was here now. Now was all that mattered to her in this moment. When his tongue delved in to stroke hers, she was gone. There was nothing beyond this kiss, nothing beyond  _ him _ . No more plans. She would go back with him, wherever that was going to be, she would go.

As he broke the kiss for a second time, she tried to form the words, but he beat her to it.

“Can I stay?” he whispered.

Her eyes opened completely and widened. “You want to stay? Here?” She hesitated. “With me?”

His eyes averted down , but then came back up. “With you is the only place I’ll ever be  _ Ben _ .” Now he hesitated and it was longer than hers but then. “I love you...” It was the barest whisper, but it’s impact was altering.

A breath she hadn’t realized she was holding came out in a shaky laugh and she said the first thing that came to her mind. “I know.”

He blinked, startled and opened his mouth to speak but she didn’t give him the chance. She pulled herself up to him for the hard kiss she’d expected earlier from him, wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders. His arms wrapped around her again at the waist and when she broke the kiss, they were both breathless.

He opened his mouth to speak again and once more she stopped him, this time with a finger to those plump generous lips and she shivered when he pressed a kiss to the pad. She took a deep, slow, calming breath and said “I know, Ben. I love you, too.”

She knew her name was Rey, but there was the glow of an entire sun in the pure smile he gave her. And it was such a gift. It was so perfect, more perfect than anything she’d ever experienced in her life.

Oh yes. She loved Ben Solo.


	5. Seven Years, Two Months, Eighteen Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Rey pees on a stick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Depictions of infertility, but it does have a happy ending, I promise

“Ben?”

Blinking as he looked away from the computer monitor, Ben realized that it was five in the morning. He’d been working since two. Work was the only thing that would distract him anymore. He could never sleep the first day. If it was--he looked at the clock--ten minutes after five, that meant she already knew.

The air got stuck in his chest. There was a lump blocking his airway. Rey’s face was impassive. Beyond the mussed hair falling out of its customary three buns, and the oversize sweats she’d stolen from him in anticipation seven year, two months and eighteen days ago, there was nothing he could gleen from looking at her. Jesus...not again.

Swallowing hard to get air past the lump, Ben pushed his chair away from his desk and opened his arms to his wife. Rey padded fully into the study and then climbed into his lap. Wrapping his arms around her, he realized she was shaking. Oh, God, no.

Ben squeezed his eyes shut and forced the air in and out of his lungs as slowly and calmly as he could given the circumstances. He opened his eyes again and stared hard at the stick clutched, white-knuckled in her hand. How many more times were they going to go through this? How many more tests, treatments, invasive exams? Why did they keep doing this to themselves? When would they stop trying?

Rey curled up into his embrace, slinging one arm around his neck while she buried her face in his chest, the other clutching around the stick and into his t-shirt. There was a wetness soaking into the shirt and he felt answering tears stinging his eyes. Ben drew her in tight to his body, rubbing her back and shoulder with either hand while he rocked a little in the computer chair.

“B-Ben!”

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. I’ve got you.” He felt like he was going to choke at the ache in her voice but he swallowed it back. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

The ache in her voice cracked into a sob and it took a moment for him to realize she was trying to talk.

“B-Ben! L-look!”

That...that wasn’t...ache?

Ben held his breath and clenched his jaw. Slowly, oh so slowly, he turned his face down to her hand. The hand that was now opening, revealing the results window. Ben’s breath exploded out of him in a choked sob.

“Two! Hah!” Blazing in the results window were two brilliantly dark lines. “It’s  _ two _ lines!”

The stinging overflowed his eyes and the tightness in his chest and throat eased instantly. He laughed as the tears burned his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. He laughed and laughed, his shoulders shaking, the sound rolling out of his chest. Between bouts of joyous laughter he pressed tight, hard kisses to Rey’s lips. She returned them with just as much fervor and strength, her hands clutching tightly in his hair, dragging and holding his head close to her. Their tears mingled as they kissed and they’d mostly dried by the time the kiss broke. Rey sat back against Ben’s shoulder as he kept his arms wrapped around her. Her fingers brushed along his cheek, his brow, his nose, then retreated back into his hair, right at the back of his neck.

“You’re going to be a daddy, Ben.”

Ben laughed again, the sound threatening to turn into another sob. He leaned forward to kiss her again, placing a hand on her lower abdomen. He could feel her warmth through all the layers of sweatshirt and pants. His heart swelled to know that after seven years, two months, and eighteen days, she was going to need them.


	6. Missed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben always looks for her, whoever she is, and he misses her so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be a kiss drabble thing and just kinda now has become a drabble thing. XD

_ ‘Ben...’ _

He looked up, twisting his head round and around, looking for the voice. All his life, he’d heard that voice. For as long as he can remember, he’s heard it. Even from before he can remember, he’s heard the voice, he knows it. He cast his eyes around, searching...but no. Once more, disappointment dragged at him. There was no voice. There was no woman. There was no one for him anywhere. Or so his therapist said he was going to have to accept. Because he couldn’t remember who she was.

His hands had gone numb and nerveless as he’d searched the crowded bus. So of course the  _ very important _ files he’d been holding had fallen from his hands and landed all over the dirty floor where their pristine white was grubbed up and stepped on and now they were turning an uneven dingy brown. Fabulous.

_ ‘...My love...’ _

He dropped the papers again, his head snapping up. An old woman who sat in the seat across from him looked at him strangely. He offered her a sheepish grin and went back to collecting his papers. They were even dingier now. He sighed, stacking them and tapping them until they were in some semblance of order. At least he had to file on the thumbdrive. He’d just have to waste his paper and ink to print them up again at home. There were no more voices for the remainder of the trip home, much to his disappointment.

*******

_ ‘...my only love....’ _

He woke up to the sensation of lips on his. An old dream. He could always feel her lips when he woke up, but could never see her face. He could see the shape of it, a blur of dark and light, as if he’d forgotten to put his glasses on before he kissed a woman he was madly in love with. A woman he’d never met, never saw, never knew. At least not in this version of his life. Maybe before the accident, but that was all gone now, never to be retrieved. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

*******

_ ‘...I’ll find you....’ _

He sighed. He’d decided last night that he wasn’t going to look around anymore. There was no point. She wasn’t going to be there. She never was. Every time he’d looked, there hadn’t been any recognition in the eyes around him. He’d talked to his therapist yesterday and they’d updated his treatment plan to stop trying to bring back the past. It was time to let it go. To kill it even. So he wouldn’t look anymore. He would let it go. It was time to move on.

*******

It had been a bad day. After months of not looking, he’d looked and it had hurt. It had hurt so much more than it had before he’d agreed to stop looking. Because the hope had time to simmer for months. The longer he went without looking, the more his neck had itched and his limbs had tingled and he just couldn’t take it anymore. So he’d looked and she wasn’t there. 

He ran his hands over his face as the bus pulled up to his stop. He turned to reach for his papers, startled to find a blue butterfly. He blinked a few times, then a slow smile curled his lips. He tucked his finger under the little insect and let it climb onto his finger before he brought it to the back of the bench and let it climb off. 

By the time the doors of the bus swooshed open he’d collected his papers and stood to mount the steps. He kept his face down at the floor once he’d found a place to stand, his free hand grasping onto the handhold tightly, even as the rest of his body was loose to compensate for the movements of the bus.

The pothole that the driver on this route never seemed to miss was coming up and he was ready when they hit it. The young woman next to him was not ready for it and in spite of her death grip on the overhead pole she lost her balance and toppled over into him. He  _ just _ managed to catch her and not drop his papers, but it was a near thing. He helped her stand up and opened his mouth to ask her if she was alright when she turned and looked at him, and the breath left his lungs.

The shape...the shades...if he squinted she looked like....

She turned and her eyes met his and there it was...there was the recognition he was always looking for. It was her.

_ ‘...and then we’ll fall in love again.’ _

The slow smile curved across his lips even as the shy one spread over hers and she put her hand out to him. He took it and shook it lightly.

“Hi, Ben,” she said, as if she’d known him all of her life.

His smile turned into a grin. “Hi, Rey. I missed you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading~! And remember always feed and water your fic authors~!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading~! And always remember to feed and water your fic authors~! Kudos are lovely, comments are delightful, and MOAR is always inspring~!


End file.
